I Didn’t Feel Ready. I Still Don't Feel Ready.

A year ago, I thought the hardest part would be pressing publish.

A year ago, I was just a couple of weeks away from launching the Leading Out Loud blog. It was this crazy idea that I had things I wanted to say about leadership, developing teams and building organizations.

And honestly? I was scared.

Who was I to think I had anything worthwhile to contribute to that conversation? What if people laughed? What if I had no idea what I was talking about? What if I ran out of things to say after a few weeks?

As it turns out, pressing publish was just the first of a lot of moments over the past year where I ended up doing something before I felt completely ready.

Around the same time, I was having the first conversations that would eventually become RealTalk Strategies. I had no idea where any of it would lead. I wasn't sure whether I was making a smart decision or a terrible mistake.

Fast forward a year.

This is the 50th straight weekly post on Leading Out Loud. RealTalk Strategies exists, and it's growing. We've had the opportunity to work with clients across the country and talk about leadership, communication, emotional intelligence, strategic planning and organizational development with people and organizations I never could have predicted a year ago.

The funny thing about beginnings is that you often don't know exactly what you're beginning.

If I'd waited until I could see exactly where Leading Out Loud or RealTalk would lead, I'd probably still be waiting.

I didn't feel ready then. I still don't always feel ready.

Looking back, I think I had the whole thing backwards.

I used to think the goal was to stop feeling uncertain. I thought eventually I'd reach a point where I had enough information or enough experience that the next step would feel obvious.

I'm not sure that's ever been the point.

I've realized that uncertainty doesn't go away.

You take the step. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you realize you should have done something differently. Sometimes you discover an opportunity you never would have found otherwise.

Either way, you learn something that you couldn't have learned by standing still. And maybe that's where trust comes from.

Not trusting that everything will work out exactly the way you planned. Not trusting that you'll always make the right decision.

But trusting that uncertainty doesn't automatically mean you're making the wrong one. Trusting that you can handle whatever comes next.

The uncertainty doesn't disappear. You just stop expecting it to.

I've also realized that uncertainty has a funny way of making decisions for us if we're not careful. We wait for perfect information. We wait for permission. We wait until we have more time, more resources or more confidence.

Organizations do it. Leaders do it. I do it.

Somewhere along the way, waiting starts to feel like the responsible choice.

But not making a decision is still making a decision. Choosing not to move is still a choice.

I've watched organizations wrestle with the same question, waiting for the perfect moment to make a decision, only to realize that standing still was a decision too.

I think good leaders gather information. They ask questions. They think through the risks. They prepare.

But eventually, there's a point where another meeting, another spreadsheet or another week of waiting isn't going to provide the answer.

Eventually, you have to take a step.

To be clear, I'm not arguing that every uncertain decision should end with a leap of faith.

Decisions deserve careful thought. Some deserve a "not yet." Some deserve a "no."

But there's a difference between thoughtfully making a difficult decision and letting uncertainty make it for us - or even avoid it altogether.

The first is leadership. The second is surrendering the choice.

I used to think the goal was to stop feeling uncertain.

The real goal might be to stop letting uncertainty make the decisions for me.