The Leadership Miles You Don’t Have to Run Alone

Runners sometimes talk about the loneliness of the long-distance runner.

When you're training for a long race, there are miles you simply have to run on your own. No one else can log them for you. The early mornings, the steady pacing, the quiet discipline — the work of preparing ultimately belongs to the person chasing the goal.

But if you’ve ever had a good training partner, you know something else too.

The miles feel different when someone is running beside you.

They don’t run the race for you.

They don’t remove the effort.

But the road feels a little lighter when someone else understands the journey.

Leadership can feel a lot like that.

As leaders, we carry questions and decisions that others don’t always see. Some things can’t be processed openly with staff. Boards bring their own perspectives and responsibilities. Friends and family may care deeply about you, but they don’t always live inside the professional world you're navigating every day.

Sometimes it’s the moment after a board meeting when a decision didn’t land the way you expected.

Sometimes it’s figuring out how to give difficult feedback to a team member who’s trying their best but falling short.

Sometimes it’s the quiet question sitting in the back of your mind: Is this just my organization…or is everyone dealing with this?

So the thinking — the weighing of options, the uncertainty, the responsibility — can end up sitting inside your own head longer than it should.

And if we’re honest, we often think this is just how it works.

That if you're the leader, you're supposed to figure it out yourself.

That needing a sounding board somehow means you're not strong enough or decisive enough.

But the best leaders I know don’t try to carry the whole road alone.

They build relationships with people they trust.

Peers who understand the job.

Mentors who have walked the path before them.

Colleagues who can offer perspective when things feel tangled.

When I run membership surveys for professional associations, one of the things that consistently rises to the top of the list is networking.

Not because people love name tags or conference coffee.

Because they value finding someone who truly understands the job.

A peer who has faced the same board dynamics.

Someone who has navigated the same kind of decision.

Someone who can listen, ask a good question, or simply say, “Yes — I’ve seen that too.”

But those running partners can take different forms.

They can be professional peers who understand the work itself.

They can be mentors who can offer perspective from experience.

They can simply be the people who provide the moral support that reminds you to keep going when the miles feel long.

The people who can say:

I see you.

I know what you’re carrying.

I’m here when you need me.

Last week, I wrote about how work often feels heavy when we focus only on the visible pieces — the projects, the tasks, the deadlines — while overlooking the invisible dynamics that actually hold things together.

The relationships.

The clarity.

The trust.

The support systems that exist between the bricks.

Peer relationships are part of that structure.

Sometimes the thing that makes work feel heavy isn’t the work itself.

It’s carrying every question alone.

A trusted peer doesn’t make decisions for you.

They don’t remove the responsibility of leadership.

But they offer something just as valuable: perspective.

They help you see patterns.

They help you think more clearly.

They remind you that the challenges you're facing aren’t unique to you.

If leadership sometimes feels like a long run, the question isn’t whether you’ll log some miles alone.

You will.

The real question is whether you’ve intentionally built the relationships that help carry you forward.

Because leadership may require some solo miles.

But it was never meant to be run entirely alone.

And the leaders who last the longest usually know one thing:

Some miles are easier when someone else is running beside you.