The Truth About "Fake It Til You Make It

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺—𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦—𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘦.

That feeling when you’re in the room but not really yourself?

That’s what “fake it ‘til you make it” looks like up close—and it’s exhausting.

We’ve all heard the phrase. Many of us have probably said it. It’s usually meant as a pep talk—a quick hit of confidence when we’re nervous or unsure. In leadership circles, it’s the go-to advice for stepping into a new role, delivering a high-stakes presentation, or stretching outside your comfort zone.

The intent? Empowerment.

The impact? Not always.

Too often, “fake it til you make it” quietly gives us permission to doubt ourselves—or worse, to pretend we’re someone we’re not.

Here’s how it usually shows up:

🔸 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀, but you convince yourself you don’t—so you slip on a mask of confidence instead of owning your ability.

🔸 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂, so you push down your authentic self to fit someone else’s version of success.

Either way, you end up feeling like a performer in your own life. And over time, that disconnect leads to stress, burnout, and a blurry sense of who you really are.

I know the toll it takes—on your energy and your sense of self. Let's face it, if you have to fake it, you probably 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 going to make it.

So instead of faking it, try this:

✅ 𝗔𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲. You’ve done the work. You’re ready. Trust your preparation.

✅ 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. Show up in ways that reflect your values—not just others’ expectations.

✅ 𝗔𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Growth should expand you, not reshape you into someone unrecognizable.

✅ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆. It’s not selfish—it’s sustainable.

Where in your life or leadership are you “faking it” when you could be trusting yourself instead?

Let’s stop performing—and start leading out loud.