The Gratitude Leaders Rarely Give Themselves

This is the time of year when it feels like everyone starts drafting their gratitude lists, even in the workplace.

Teams. Partners. Colleagues. Communities.

All the people who help us do the work.

And leaders should appreciate those people — deeply.

But here’s something we don’t talk about enough:

Leaders almost never show gratitude to the person they expect the most from.

The one who’s supposed to stay steady, stay strong and keep showing up no matter what.

Themselves.

We’re taught that leadership is service.

We’re taught to put others first.

And we’re especially taught that “thank you” flows outward — not inward.

But RealTalk?

Leadership asks a lot of you. More than most people see. More than most people will ever understand.

There are decisions you carry quietly.

There are frustrations you absorb so your team doesn’t have to.

There are moments you stay calm, even when no one else knows how hard it was to do so.

There are days when you keep giving even though your own tank is running low.

So as the world gears up for its annual wave of “gratitude posts,” here’s a different kind of invitation:

Take a moment to say “thank you” to yourself.

Not because it’s sentimental

.Because it’s earned.

Thank yourself for the hard conversations you didn’t avoid.

Thank yourself for holding things together when you weren’t sure you could.

Thank yourself for the growth you fought for — even when it came wrapped in challenge, conflict or discomfort.

Thank yourself for the quiet work that made everything else possible.

This isn’t self-indulgence.

It’s leadership sustainability.

When leaders acknowledge their own effort, resilience and growth, they create space for honesty, clarity and real capacity. They model something important for their teams, too: that strength isn’t just about serving others — it’s also about respecting yourself.

So as you head into the holiday this week, consider this a gentle but bold reminder:

Gratitude isn’t just something you give.

It’s something you deserve, too.